4 Tips for Handling Haters and Negative People

Handling_HatersDiscover 4 powerful tips for handling haters and negative people in your life. I’ll share the meanest comments I have received over the years and then you’ll discover how I deal with that kind of venom. Overcoming hatred and negativity is part of everyone’s journey to becoming successful in any worthwhile endeavor.

If you are not equipped with the tools to deal with hate and negativity, it could completely derail your success train and paralyze your progress. Although this message will primarily go to real estate investors,these 4 tips could be equally applicable to anyone attempting to achieve any significant life goal, so feel free to share with friends and family! After completing this training, you’ll know 4 simple yet extremely powerful ways to handle the inevitable hatred and negativity.

Four Tips For Handling Haters and Overcoming Negative People

 

Beginner real estate investors are met with a lot of negativity from those around them.  People will try to tell you what you can and cannot do, even though you know what you are capable of accomplishing. Your spouse might believe that real estate investing is a scam. If you’re younger, your parents might be upset that you are spending your time watching videos and reading blogs instead of getting ready for college. No matter the situation, if you are dealing with negativity in your life, then this blog is for you.

 

My Experience

 

There is nothing more discouraging then negativity from the influential people in your life. It’s like taking a big bucket of water and dumping it on a fire that extinguishes every bit of enthusiasm you have for something new and special, and different.

I am the author of two bestselling books How to be a Real Estate Investor, and my newest one, Real Estate Investing Gone Bad. Both of these are perennial bestsellers, and they are must-reads for anyone who is serious about becoming a real estate investor. My YouTube channel is number 1 for real estate investing all across the world, and, it has now broken some pretty exciting milestones. Over 100,000 subscribers, over 11 million views. That also means that there literally have been thousands and thousands of comments. Most of them are positive, but some of them have been very negative. I would like to share some of the negative comments I have received on my Youtube Channel.

 

  •  Eric Eubanks writes, “Go F-U-C-K yourself. You are proof of how ignorant people still are after 20 years of internet access.”

 

  • Here’s Ladon, This one’s actually kind of funny. “Hey, Phil, there’s an island sitting on top of your head. Go invest in that.”

 

  • Wade writes, “Invest in clothes, time at the gym and some hair plugs. You look like a douche.

 

  • Thomas says, “Did you ever consider the fact that you’re moving your head too much when you speak? Most want to read your lips while they listen. You bob your head like you are something special. What an A-S-S-hole.”

 

  •  Lanqua missionary writes, “Dear Phil, kill yourself, please.”

Tip 1: Get Excited

 

A very famous music producer who was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame this fall, who is a genius at spotting talent, according to Dolly Parton had a great rule about handling haters. His rule was,  “If the person had as many haters as fans, he knew they were going to be a big star.”  If he had someone who didn’t have that kind of electricity, either positive or negative, he was always concerned that they wouldn’t become a big star. You might not be looking at becoming a big country music star, but the principle still applies, even on a small level.

 

Using This in Real Estate

If you’re working on a real estate deal that looks like it could make some good money, but then the seller starts flipping out that you are some sort of scam artist, then you should get excited. This probably means you have a good deal on your hands.

On the other side of the coin, if you’re at the closing table and the seller is very happy and overly nice to you, you should  be a little concerned, because maybe, just maybe, you’re about to buy a lemon; some bad deal that’s not going to work out. When people act negative towards you, get excited, because it means you’re pressing their buttons. This could mean you’re about to make some big moves in your life, which is exciting.

 

  • Personal Side

Sometimes a spouse or parent might be concerned if you become more successful you might not need them anymore.  That happened to one of my apprentices, who was in an abusive relationship with someone who wanted nothing to do with her being in our program.  Well she secretly did it anyway and made a bunch of money, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and then left her spouse.

The point is that if people are being negative or hateful towards you, you should get excited, because you’re probably doing something right.  If you’re trying to improve your life and people are getting mad, being excited is one way to handle haters.

 

Tip 2: Pray For Your Haters

 

You have no idea the kind of pain other people are experiencing in their life. I recently helped a family member purchase a new house.  When they moved in, the neighbor to one side of them was very annoyed because it was a newly built home that had blocked their view of the water. So one day, my family member was going to put away the trash cans because the garbage men had already come. The neighbor came out and made all sorts of accusations about my family member’s strange work schedule. She believed something shady was going on and let my family member know this. She also threatened to call the HOA if he did not start picking his trash up sooner.

 

  • Moral of the Story

Naturally my family member couldn’t believe what a jerk the neighbor had been, but when he relayed the story back to his family, his son had a very different take on the situation. The neighbor had just recently lost her husband. She woke up one morning and her husband was dead. He had some rare heart condition that they didn’t even know he had.

The moral of this story is that you just do not know what someone else is going through in their life.  When handling haters, get excited, because on a grand scale, you might have something excited going on. But by the same toke, if its really personal and they’re being out of the ordinary mean, then pray for them.  Find out what’s going on in their life, because they might have some real pain going on. Typically, the people that are the most confident and balanced, are not the one’s hating on others. The haters usually have other problems going on in their life.

 

Tip 3:  Stop Pleasing Others 

 

Humans are wired with a natural desire to make other people around them happy. The problem is, people are fickle. Studies have proven that humans are terrible predictors of their own happiness. If you’re trying to please other people, it is a moving target that you’ll never hit.  I recently heard of someone that invested in real estate and their family member said, “I can’t believe you’ve done this. You’re literally ruining my life. I can’t believe you’d spend money on a scam like investing in real estate.”

This family member was very distraught over the whole situation. I remember the correspondent saying, “What you do with your money should have no effect on other people. That’s not your problem, it’s their problem.” Trying to please others is a treadmill where you’ll keep running and running but make no progress. You have to run your own race, even if it is difficult at times.

Pleasing Others Causes Failure

If you’re trying to please others, you’re going to continually fail. That’s why, when I put my blogs and videos out I appreciate the feedback I receive, even if it is negative.  I am humble about learning how I can improve, but by the same token, I’m only putting out information I know is true, and this can piss some people off. I’m doing the best I can, but I’m not trying to make everybody happy, because that’s impossible.

 

  • Take Control

I do not recommend using negativity from other people as some sort of fuel to succeed. The mentality of doing something just because someone told you that you couldn’t.  That’s still trying to please people.  If someone tells you that you can’t do something, and you try to do it because they believed you couldn’t, they’re controlling you. They’re holding the strings of you as the puppet. I don’t agree with that. You should do the things that you feel the need to do in your life.

Now, I’m a Christian, so obviously, I pray the Lord gives me guidance and for Christians, that’s the number 1 place to get your directives. However, either way, it doesn’t involve other people telling you how to live your life. Just like a throwback to the movie Back to the Future, when it’s, “Are you chicken, McFly?” Of course he then all rears up. See, that’s not what you want to do. Don’t use that as fuel. You be in control of your own life.

 

Tip 4:  Study Greatness

 

Study those that have overcome a tremendous amount of negativity and hatred in their life to go onto great things. A great example of this would be one of my favorite people of all time, Dr. Martin Luther King. That man as well as many around him were part of a movement to overcome enormous amounts of hatred and negativity, and what they did changed the world.

 

  • They Were Excited

Look at some of the factors of Dr. King’s movement in light of these other three steps. Number one: “Get excited.” Once people witnessed the movement rolling they got excited which caused more people to join in. They encountered a lot of opposition, but the hatred let them know they were on the right track.

 

  • They Certainly Prayed

One example of this step was when someone shot Martin Luther King Jr but instead of attacking the guy and ripping the gun out of his hand, he gave the guy a hug and he prayed for him. Anybody trying to shoot Dr. King had some real issues, and what he did in response was amazing.

 

  • They Stopped Pleasing

I can assure you Dr. King was not pleasing a lot of people when, in front of a hostile crowd in Washington D.C., he said, “I have a dream that my 4 little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character. Well, Dr. King, I still have that dream today because racism is completely out of hand in this country, and it is so sad. In fact, it was Dr. King who pointed out that the most segregated hour in America is Sunday morning.

Christians know that we are all children of God, and that He created us all in His own plan. The Church should be multicultural and should break down those racial barriers. This is precisely why I go to a multicultural church. In fact, I’m one of the only Caucasian families in the room, hallelujah, and I love it.

 

Conclusion

 

I hope this provides you with some concrete steps on handling haters and negativity in your life. If you don’t have any haters in your life, just wait.  As you begin to improve your situation, it’s going to happen. There’s an analogy where crabs are in a box and of one of the crabs tries to crawl, but the other crabs rip him down and bring him back into the box. Well, that’s probably happening to you if you’re experiencing negativity. People are trying to pull you back into their world, so use these tips to overcome them.

I hope this message helps to inspire a lot of people. Share this with others as well, because this is really important. It’s not just about how to find the best deals and how to structure the best deals. Real estate is also about how you progress forward as an individual.

Comments

  1. BonniePickhardt says:

    Thanks for sharing some of the negative and enormously laughable remarks you have received. The world needs a bit of silliness now and then.

  2. Hi Phil, great stuff. hate makes love stronger.

  3. Kelly Turner says:

    I needed to hear what you shared. Personally, I am dealing with a lot of negativity coming from all directions. I’ve been practicing a couple of your tips but learned a few more and am going to begin to practice those as well.
    Thank you for sharing!

  4. Larry Taylor Jr says:

    Thanks Phil for the real u just keep doing what you r doing helping people help them selves I’m ready to be your apprentices

  5. Great video and powerful message Phil. U go to a “colorful” church. It touched my heart. #StopPleasingPpl #PrayForHaters. Love it. Blessings tonu Phil

  6. That was a great video, Phil. Keep up the good work. The haters are just jealous because they are incapable of achieving anything successful in their sad lives while living with their parents and eating Hot Pockets all day and watching your informative videos. Plus how many haters have money and a resl estate profile like you??? For them to taunt you about your physical appearance reveals how immature they are. Keep on doing what you do because a majority of us appreciate your efforts 👍👍💰💰👍👍

  7. Mike McKinley says:

    I really enjoyed this video especially your comments on praying for the haters and negative people. Also about Dr. King. He said and did so many profound things. I especially liked his quote: “Your life begins to end when you stop standing up for what is right” What a Man!!!!! Thanks for talking about him, God and all your good advice for investing. Starting out slow but your videos really help. Thanks again

  8. I am in the begining of my career as a real estate investor. Pretty exiting and successful!! Always enjoy watching your videos and expand my knowledge. Thanks for your positivity and for inspiring, Phil.

    • I have been a real estate investor for decades and have made millions. But, I am still inspired by this video and encourage beginners to follow Phil’s advice. Great wisdom Phil.

  9. Yosy Perez says:

    You are a Great MAN! I love the way you explain everything! So sympathetic .. So motivating ,Intelligent & Guide-full!

    Today I will pray for those who hate on you as you mentioned a few already here & I will absolutely pray for ALL OF MY HATERS TO! :)~

    AWESOME AND VERY INSPIRING ALWAYS PHIL!!

    THANK YOU!! 🙂 <3

  10. Joshua Glover says:

    Phill I am ready to learn hands on your strategies. I appreciate your wisdom and providence.

  11. I really enjoyed your video. I especially appreciate that you are not ashamed of the gospel of Christ. Praying for your enemies it’s a fantastic way to change our attitudes and mines so that those negative people do not control us.

  12. william lurcott says:

    You know what, Phil? This could open up a whole new venue for you! Wise words from you to your tribe. What a gift you’re giving here. This is simply WONDERFUL. Nice work here. Wishing you the best.

  13. Dan Daglia says:

    Thanks for the video. Makes sense that is what we go through in our lives pleasing others. we have to take control of our own lives to succeed. Phil, How can you get down payment help to purchase a home. Thanks…

  14. You go Phil! My new montra is no Emotional Vampires. I don’t allow people to dump their emotional garbage. I put my hand up and say “STOP! Say something positive or say nothing!” They are usually so shocked they do what I ask.
    By the way, only very viral men loose their hair!!! I think you are adorable.

  15. Jibriyll Izsrael says:

    Bless you brother !!!

  16. Henry mchenry says:

    Love this ….I want to be a investor for 20 years now..

  17. JAMES SIMMONS says:

    As one that has watched several real estate and insurance pros give secrets etc. All the haters just arent good at dealing with people or taking risks. Thanks keep it up!!

  18. Dave Blanke says:

    I am always impressed with your knowledge and pleased to hear you say pray for those who oppose you or disrespect you. I also attend a multi-racial church and live in a multi-racial neighborhood because if I do not seek to integrate then who will? I do respectfully request that you correlate your language with your professed faith. Profanity is not a mark of knowledge but rather possibly is used to please the popular culture. Keep producing your videos so we may learn from your experience.

    • Phil Pustejovsky says:

      I was recounting a story and a comment. Those were not my words. Withholding those words would have removed an important of those two items. Thanks for your comment.

  19. Oscar Rosales says:

    Hello Phil thanks for being so bold for your principles about life, I commend you keep up the awesome work and thanks sharing wisdom,

  20. jeffrey doto says:

    Extremely inspirational, aas always…Thanks…Jeff

  21. God Bless You

  22. I really enjoyed this video great tips

  23. Phil

    I justed watching your great videos and I have learn so much already.
    These videos are full of knowledge and inspiration.
    Hope to join your mentoring program soon.

  24. Michelle Greene says:

    thanks for sharing

  25. Michelle Greene says:

    thanks for sharing

  26. Joa-Nena Knotts says:

    that is good one and wish you come to me for mentor – through buyer or seller with realtor estate agent

    best, nena

  27. David Dass says:

    Mr. Phil you’re the man you’re truly a genuine & say it as it is person, continue to keep up the good videos & helpful tips and messages thanks.

  28. Andrés Medrano says:

    Boy that is true Mr. bill I been throuhg some of those my self. Thank you for sharing this tips I thing we all can learn from it

  29. Good Stuff! Nice to see that others recognize that racism is out of hand in this country!

  30. Biking bob says:

    Phil, your videos and information just keep getting better and better. Thank you for what you do.

  31. LARISA MAMAYAN says:

    It is a terrific video!!!Love to listen to all Your funny,lively,educational,realistic,truthful ideas!!Thank You!!and i agree w/all yr readers,supporters,who like You.Thank YOU!!!Terrific!

  32. Hey Phil, GREAT VEDIO we need more mentors like you. I consider you to be a real leader in the field, thanks again Phil

  33. Alex Parker says:

    Thanks Phil, you are Amazing.

  34. LoAnn McCray says:

    W.O.W.! say it backwards W. O. W. – ! I’ve needed to hear that all my life – really put me above board ! ! ! ! Thank you, thank you! What a cool and wisdom filled christian you are – glad to have you as my brother! very valuable for anyone stepping out of the box! Gave me courage and confidence — two very valuable products. My Love in christ, LoAnn

  35. Good morning Phil.
    And thank you for the reminder about haters..a concept that I have studied before..my personal belief is the anger people are expelling is a mask for the fear that they live with. I have witnessed this a lot in my life. I have been dealing with a lot of haters lately and had forgot. This video was definitely well timed for me.
    Paul

  36. May God continue to bless you and increase you more and more

  37. Great words, Phil! Your hate examples are weak, I’d say 🙂 Lacking substance. Mostly appearance critique, which is rather stupid. This means your videos are pretty darn good 🙂

  38. Philicia Lloyd says:

    Phil
    Thanks for your encouraging and inspiring words.
    Keep the Faith
    Be Blessed
    Philicia

  39. Cliff Fung says:

    Thanks Phil for sharing this great video.

  40. Phil, you are very inspiring. Thank You!
    I even got chills when you were quoting Dr. King.

  41. Thank you so much. I needed to hear your tips about haters because I am experiencing a lot of that right now. I have recently started an investment company, and have found several potential properties that I could flip and make a nice profit on. I went to a local banker for pre-approval and was denied because I don’t have any experience flipping houses other than with the houses I have owned personally. The banker said I should get some experience by flipping a property for profit and then come back. Is it me or does that not make any sense? I asked how to get experience when I was denied financing. His response was “I don’t know, but we want to see some experience flipping and plenty of cash to play with…” I hung up on the idiot.

    In addition, my family thinks I’m crazy and my step daughter has said “how entitled of you to start a real estate company when I don’t even have my first home yet?” So now the guilt has taken over my husband and he is dragging his feet because he doesn’t want to upset his daughter. I plan to continue and will find another financer, but it is draining and upsetting to get such negativity from my family, whom I thought would be my biggest supporters.

  42. Don Hagel says:

    you only get what you ask for, if you believe , and who wants to stop moving foreword?

  43. Laura A Ash says:

    Thank you Phil for your truly inspiring words. I absolutely love how you not only acknowledged your haters, but how responded to their negative comments. You made sure that they don’t have the power to break you. They’ve only succeeded in getting you excited! Keep it up young man, Many are paying attention and learning from you! Thank you! 🙂

  44. Thanks for sharing this video Phil. It is very timely and inspiring. Greatness fueled by the heart is what we need to strive for.

  45. Phil i love you more now that you profess your Christianity. You said a mouthful of truth. Thank you!

  46. NEGETIVE ENERGY IS CANCER AND THOSE PEOPLE WITH NEGATIVE ATTITUDE ARE OBVIOUSLY SEEK.
    THANK PHIL, WE JUST NEED TO PUT THOSE OBSTACLES ON THE SIDE IF THEY GET ON THE WAY.!!!

  47. Tyrone McLaine says:

    I didn’t know white people had haters. Lol
    This is the message I needed to hear. I don’t have haters but I have A TON of uninspired, fearful employee mindset friends / family members. Interested in knowing which church you attend. I’d love to visit.
    God Bless.

  48. Steve Roberts says:

    Thank you for all of your work. Specifically, thank you for this message. You are a real, good and spiritual man.

  49. Rob Schultz says:

    Hey Phil, fantastic video! Thank you for making this video and sharing your wisdom. Very timely information for me. I’m excited!

  50. Hey, Phil,
    Thanks you for all your awesome vedios &tips.

  51. cindy Sheckler says:

    Thank you Phil,
    You are a very smart man. It really surprises me that you have learned all this at such a young age. I am in my 70’s and I am just getting it all together. I very much enjoyed your video. You made some very good points that are applicable in all walks of life. You deserve an honorary phycology degree!!!

Speak Your Mind

*